Kindness to parents is pre-emptive–you fulfill their needs and wants before they can ask, before they even know it themselves.
Kindness to parents is pre-emptive–it means you fulfill their needs before they ask. It’s not antagonistic, where they ask and ask and ask until you give in and do what they say. It’s not passive, where they have to tell you every little thing they need. It’s active, so take the initiative and do what needs to be done, in order to earn the pleasure of Allah.
So if you see a big pile of dishes in the sink, or your laundry-basket bulges with fullness, act on them before they ask. Be proactive with household chores and in fulfilling the rights of your parents. (Even if they didn’t ask you to do these things, how can they be anything but delighted if you do them without being asked?)
And of course, kindness to parents is fard (and therefore, punishable if one is negligant), and it’s one of their rights in Islam. After all, in the Qur’an, Allah says:
Translation: We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) you to join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. (Surah Ankabut, verse 8)1
Also, a hadith from Sahih Bukhari:
A man came to Allah’s Apostle and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man said. “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your father. ” [Bukhari 8/73/2]2
May Allah give us all the tawfiq to fulfill all the obligations placed on us in Islam, ameen!
You can also check out this awesome SoundVision article on the mothers specifically, and parents in general.
(1) Muhammad, Pickthall M., trans. “Al-Ankaboot (The Spider).” Al-Qur’an Al-Kareem: Parallel Arabic Text with English Translation. One Ummah Network. 4 May 2006 <http://www.oneummah.net/quran/29.htm>.
(2) “Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Book 73: Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab).” USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts. USC-MSA. 4 May 2006 <http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/bukhari/073.sbt.html#008.073.002>
(3) “The Quran and Hadith on Mothers.” Islamic Information & Products – SoundVision.Com Home! 4 May 2006 <http://www.soundvision.com/Info/mothers/inquran&hadith.asp>.