Marriage

Bismillah

Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) uses amazing parables in the Qur’an that strike fear, awe and amazement in the hearts of the believers. Throughout the Qur’an, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) draws parables for us to convey the importance of certain topics, to extract lessons from them and so that we may ponder and reflect over them. We hear many times of the examples of the hypocrites, the mushrikeen (pagans) and the believers. But there is one parable that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) puts forth that increases the love and mercy between a husband and wife, and this parable is one of the most eloquent and striking in the Qur’an.

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
8. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
   • Amicable divorce

(For brothers, check out [60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love, and the romance alive!][1] by shaykh Ahmed Shehab)

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  Source (and <em>more</em> tips): <a href="http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=19999">Ways to Keep Your Husband&#8217;s Love &#8211; AlMaghrib Forums</a>
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Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said, “the best amongst you are the ones who are best to their wives.” So dear Muslim brother! Your obligations towards your wife are not limited to earning money and supporting her financially. A wife needs love from her husband, and emotional support too!

Note: Additions in brackets are notes from a sister.

Prepared by Muhammad Alshareef, reprinted from Islamway.com.

One of the best things about Islam is that it’s a deen–a total, comprehensive, complete, and perfect way of life, and it governs every aspect of life from large-scale social phenomena (such as marriage) to the way you eat and sleep.

For people who are dating, subhanallah, they say they’re looking for that “special someone” or “the right person.” But they continue dating for 6 months, a year, two years, five years, TEN years, they have kids–they’re still just dating–and they STILL don’t know! And when someone “better” comes along, they jump ship!

The following is some amazing nasiha adapted from an article by Dr. Aisha Hamdan (additional notes are italicized). Read it inshallah ta’ala and benefit from it. Props to The Muslimah Corner for finding it. You can find the original here.

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be, ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage, and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality sets in, and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience.

The following is a beautiful little speech by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami, entitled “A Wife”. Read it inshallah ta’ala and benefit from it. Props to Beautiful Islam for the original.

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you.When you have a secret, she will keep it. When you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says: “they are your garments and you are their garments” [Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 187]¹.

Common reactions among many types of people when their spouse burns their food, or forgets the salt, or oversalts, or otherwise destroys it, are statements such as “what’s wrong with you, don’t you know how to cook” and “didn’t your mother/father ever teach you anything” and so on.

Remain patient, as the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) remained when his wives cooked food he didn’t like. He sat, and said nothing at all, nor did he eat from it.

The key to attract an amazing spouse is to nurture in yourself those qualities that appeal to a person of that standard.

Many of us pine for the perfect spouse–realize he or she does not exist. Pick the best you can find, and learn to live with and cover their warts and weaknesses.

Set your criteria (based on the hadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him)–have they memorized the Qur’an? Do they speak Arabic? Do they pray Tahajjud (middle-of-the-night prayer) once a week?–then ask yourself what a person of those qualities would like in a spouse, and instill those qualities into yourself.