Akhlaaq

The following ahadeeth are from Ibn Hajr al-Asqalaanee’s Bulooghul-Maram (Attainment of the Objective according to Evidence of the Ordinances–page 480+ in the English translation). They touch on the importance of good Islamic character: being truthful, avoiding lying, the evil of a suspicious mind, heedlessness, not protecting each other’s honour, etc.

As a good reminder to the sincere heart, even if you have been blessed with guidance to the Sunnah and hold yourself to be from Ahlul-Haqq, the Shaytaan will not leave you alone. Perhaps he may destroy your deeds by wrecking your character and making you heedless and blinded by the fact that you ‘ascribe yourself to the correct way.’ We ask Allah to make us people of upright character, firstly with Allah, His Messenger, his companions, the scholars of Islam, our families, and our brothers and sisters in Islam.

We live in a world in which the concept of haya between man and women is lost. We forget that at every step Shaytaan waits to pounce, to guide us to evil. Living in the West, going to University, we see a lot of evil, and we see the plan of Shaytaan at work; Muslim men and Muslim women forgetting their boundaries and falling into the fitnah of society. Every wonder what would happen if you die in a state of disobedience to Allah? Will your heart every truly be satisfied by disobeying Allah Allah (سبحانه وتعالى)? Come to The Guide! Come to Allah, purely, sincerely. Listen to the podcast and learn about this much-forgotten issue.

SubhanAllah, we all know the story about the accusations that were forged against ‘Aishah (رضالله عنها), but in addition to that story, the tafsir for Surat An-Nur (Surah 24), ayah 22, reveals another story–a story of forgiveness, a story of compassion, a story demonstrating the superiority of those who act for the sake of Allah (may Allah make us of them).

Mistah was the cousin of As-Siddiq (رضالله عنه). He was the son of Abu Bakr’s maternal aunt, and a poor man with no wealth except whatever Abu Bakr spent on him. He was one of those who had migrated for the sake of Allah, and he invented the lies and the slander against ‘Aishah (رضالله عنها).

“I guarantee a house in Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even when joking / for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” [Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وسلم) – reported by Imam Abu Dawud]

Remember the story of the companion Umm Sulaym (رضي الله عنها), what an amazing thing about how a wife is with her husband. Her husband, Talha, was out working, and it so happened that day that their son, 10 years old, died.

She had a decision to make: when he comes home should she tell him right away, or should she just bear it and make him happy first and then when he is comfortable and settled in, then tell him? She thought to herself that she’s going to take the weight of this tragedy upon herself. And she’s not gonna tell him, and she didn’t want him to spend the entire night crying because that would really be hurtful to her, she could not bear the fact that her husband would be crying all night because of their son.

Safi Khan, in his “Marriage 101″ lecture CD (available from here), mentions many points; of the best, he mentions the following:

1. For Brothers: use extreme compassion and mercy towards your wives! Almost all relationships could benefit from more mercy and compassion.
2. For Sisters: struggle not to complain! Once complaints start, they only get worse, and in the end, they can spoil your marriage.
3. For Both:
4. have a common goal–to serve Allah (سبحانه وتعالى), to worship Him, and to enter Jannah together, without reckoning.
5. close the doors of fitnah – shut them off from your marriage. Keep each other’s secrets, don’t share them. Throw out your TV. Travel together on long trips.
6. worship Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) together – choose some activity that you use, that you do together. Go to Islamic lectures. Read tafseer together. Start an Islamic project. Memorize Qur’an together.

Typ‧i‧cal: Conforming to a particular type. For someone to be “typical”, he/she would be one who conforms to his society and behaves much like his environment.

Typical in the 21st century: clubbing, flirting, sex, drugs, alcohol, stealing, cheating, swearing, injustice, premarital relations, immodesty, and the list goes on and on.

So who’s typical? Is it the one who refrains from all the above, or the one indulges in it? Is it the one who’s perceived weird when he speaks out against someone swearing? Or is it the one who joins the people in their evil?

“Whoever wishes to be delivered from the fire (of Hell) and enter the garden (of Paradise) should die with faith in Allah and the Last Day and should treat the people as he wishes to be treated by them.”

[Muhammad – Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) as recorded in Sahih Muslim]

1. Make a list of people you deal with:

• Parents
• Friends
• Co-workers

_2. Write how you would want to be treated in each of those roles:

Abu Hurayrah relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his neighbor. And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.” [Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

_Speak good, or stay silent

Treat your guest, and don’t be violent

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
8. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
   • Amicable divorce

(For brothers, check out [60 Ways To Keep Your Wife’s Love, and the romance alive!][1] by shaykh Ahmed Shehab)

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  Source (and <em>more</em> tips): <a href="http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=19999">Ways to Keep Your Husband&#8217;s Love &#8211; AlMaghrib Forums</a>
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